demonicmiracle | (duplicity) ic contact

( the fact that she doesn't even try to scold him with a look says that she knows this has gone out of proportionally wrong )

A bracelet, enchanted with a protection spell. To-- ( and her voice dips a little quieter ) --hide her from his sight.

( it's not just that agnes is hurt because of this that pains her, it goes far deeper )

[It's so hard not to snap at her, he has to clench his jaw shut for a moment as the urge passes. This was monumentally stupid, in his opinion, and also a little bit cruel. He knows she must have had good intentions, she cares about Agnes, that much is obvious, but it put the poor woman at risk without her ever getting a choice.

Once he's calm enough not to snap at her, he still has to ask:]

You know that was a mistake, yeah?

He has a control that no man should have.

( it isn't even about the contract but that he can watch her whenever he chooses, punish her on whims he decides. and it's painful to her. personally )

The Archivist made it clear that I can't stop him-- ( kill him ) but-- I could protect her.

[The control that Elias does or doesn't have is irrelevant here, in his opinion.]

And did you ask her if this protection was worth the risk?

[That's what he has an issue with, since Agnes was put in danger without knowing the danger. It's deeply unfair to her.]

If she knew-- not knowing gave her deniability.

( her eyes close, a deeper breath. it's not lost on her what happened, that it happened again )

I know what it's like being under such a control.

( and yet the one person that had tried to help her had died for it, even though they didn't know what they were doing )

You think you're the only one that gets it?

[Crowley snaps his fingers, the photos that Anderson gave him appearing on the sofa beside Lilith. Surveillance photos from Heaven.]

I've not had a moment to myself for my entire bloody existence, apparently. That wouldn't make it alright to presume I know what's best for someone else. She should've had a choice.

( she'll potentially regret not taking a better look at them later but right now, though lilith does glance at them, her mindset is wrong. she's focused on what she did wrong, on both how it made her feel, how her past has-- and she's not good at getting it across. even his pictures, though he was observed, feel far more freedom than she's ever known )

She should.

( they all should. she won't apologise for what she did because now that she's out of that situation she almost wishes that someone would have helped her. but who could have? )

I didn't believe that his power was so great. Even Lucifer isn't omniscient.

[That's all he needed to hear, really. The anger doesn't immediately disappear, he's still frustrated and worried and angry that this has all been dragged up again.]

Elias isn't either, I don't think. Martin's said they could distract him, keep him focused on one thing at once, but Agnes is that thing right now, yeah? Of course he was going to know.

( was it her decision to be his focus or did everyone else decide that for her? )

He may not be but his power-- if he knew perhaps she had been hidden.

( which meant that her power could work if in some other way. she isn't considering agnes again but keeping it in mind for a future attempt. if their is one )

I can't help her.

[Ah, that's what this is about. Crowley sighs, vanishing the photos with a wave of his hand, moving to sit closer to Lilith.

He doesn't reach out, but it's a close thing.]

You can help her by being there. [This too, he understands. Crowley's always known how awful Heaven could be, how unkind they were to Aziraphale, but there was no fighting them. Not like that.] Give her somewhere she's safe.

[Not a physical space, necessarily. He's suggesting that Lilith be the safety, the port in the storm, as it were. It's what he tried to do for Aziraphale, giving him somewhere he could be himself and forget about Heaven, at least for a while.]

And watch all that he does?

( because lilith knew that this wouldn't be his last punishment. it never was. it hurt to think about pulling away from her but lilith didn't know if she could watch it either.

she still expects it for herself. even without the thought of lucifer bound within nick she still expects him to have been watching her, to punish her for moving away from him, for not fulfilling her plans. hell may not be here but he could still be )

I won't.

( she can't is the truth of it, not when it rips at her, reminds her-- and how can she just soothe it to let it happen again? )

Then leave her.

[It's cruel, in a way, and it isn't really his ultimatum to deliver, but if she can't handle watching Agnes get hurt, then she doesn't have much to offer the woman. Since Agnes has made it fairly clear that she doesn't want people going up against Elias for her.]

Either you care enough to bear it or you don't, that's the choice you've got to make. You can't fight for her if it isn't what she wants.

( it's a comment that makes her go very quiet because-- she doesnt know how to respond. part of her selfishly doesn't want to let her go because of how agnes has made her feel but-- could she watch it? which part of her was stronger.

it takes a moment, a slight raise of her glass before she lowers it again, finger tapping the edge of it )

She's endured enough.

Anyone who's endured anything has already endured enough.

[Agnes has suffered, so has Lilith, so has Crowley, so have billions of people across multiple words and very few of them deserve it, by any definition of the word. There's no line in the sand where suffering is acceptable, but that won't stop it from continuing to happen.]

I'm not trying to be a bastard here, but there's only so much that can be done. You've got to decide whether she's worth it.

( it's almost a whisper when she admits-- )

She is.

( because for a while now it hadn't just been about helping her quota but building her up, showing her the worth she'd been denied, strength in her situation.

except-- she did this. and that's a guilt lilith doesn't know how to handle, a feeling she doesnt feel )

There you are then.

[It isn't much of a pep talk, considering it's roughly the equivalent of suck it up, but Lilith made a choice getting involved with Agnes, and she made a choice to give her that gift, whatever it was.

These are just the consequences.]

You ought to own up to it once she's out, even if it isn't why Elias had her sent to Realignment.

I'd expected him to punish me.

( just as lucifer had. but she also realises in a way that this had punished her, hurting agnes hurt her. caring really was a weakness )

But he doesn't care.

There's nothing he can do to you, I don't think. Not without showing his hand.

[That's the whole point of Agnes, as far as Crowley can tell, to keep Jon on a short leash. Now he's just using it to hurt Lilith, as well.]

He'd need to be-- creative.

( she shares a look with him before finishing the last of her whiskey, leaning to place the glass on the table. she's danced around lucifer's cruelty before but this closer admission is a show of trust with him. lucifer has done a lot to her and elias doesn't know her to know how to hurt her )

Which he may lack. He's taken one path so far.

Not a bad path to take with the likes of us, though.

[There's an understanding in this. Crowley never drew anyone's personal ire, he was always very careful of that, but that doesn't mean he's never failed an assignment, never gotten into Hell's bad books. Pain isn't an effective punishment, once you're used to it.

Something about what she says raises a question, though.]

Is this not the first time he's sent her to Realignment?

It isn't the first time he's punished her.

( he may have stepped it up but the first time also felt unjustified )

Previously he-- implanted memories of someone's time in realignment.

( a show of what was to come )

Arsehole. [It's a low mutter but he thinks it about covers it.] Has he done anything to her without provocation?

[Not that it'd make it better, he's just trying to get the full picture here.]

Nothing that she's mentioned.

( but she also hasnt asked too much )

Though with his contract he could fabricate a reason, claim she'd broken it.

[This is the problem with this place, it's so much easier for people to be cruel. There's always power to be abused anywhere, but adding the class system and legal contracts just makes it worse.]

He could, but he's not done it. As awful as it is for her to be watched, it might be worth bearing rather than fighting him and getting her hurt again.

[Six thousand years of playing the system worked well enough for him, despite all the bad parts of it.]

And when he does begin to fabricate reasons?

( with men like elias it wasn't an if but a when. he would. they all did )

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