demonicmiracle | (duplicity) ic contact

[Ah, that's what this is about. Crowley sighs, vanishing the photos with a wave of his hand, moving to sit closer to Lilith.

He doesn't reach out, but it's a close thing.]

You can help her by being there. [This too, he understands. Crowley's always known how awful Heaven could be, how unkind they were to Aziraphale, but there was no fighting them. Not like that.] Give her somewhere she's safe.

[Not a physical space, necessarily. He's suggesting that Lilith be the safety, the port in the storm, as it were. It's what he tried to do for Aziraphale, giving him somewhere he could be himself and forget about Heaven, at least for a while.]

And watch all that he does?

( because lilith knew that this wouldn't be his last punishment. it never was. it hurt to think about pulling away from her but lilith didn't know if she could watch it either.

she still expects it for herself. even without the thought of lucifer bound within nick she still expects him to have been watching her, to punish her for moving away from him, for not fulfilling her plans. hell may not be here but he could still be )

I won't.

( she can't is the truth of it, not when it rips at her, reminds her-- and how can she just soothe it to let it happen again? )

Then leave her.

[It's cruel, in a way, and it isn't really his ultimatum to deliver, but if she can't handle watching Agnes get hurt, then she doesn't have much to offer the woman. Since Agnes has made it fairly clear that she doesn't want people going up against Elias for her.]

Either you care enough to bear it or you don't, that's the choice you've got to make. You can't fight for her if it isn't what she wants.

( it's a comment that makes her go very quiet because-- she doesnt know how to respond. part of her selfishly doesn't want to let her go because of how agnes has made her feel but-- could she watch it? which part of her was stronger.

it takes a moment, a slight raise of her glass before she lowers it again, finger tapping the edge of it )

She's endured enough.

Anyone who's endured anything has already endured enough.

[Agnes has suffered, so has Lilith, so has Crowley, so have billions of people across multiple words and very few of them deserve it, by any definition of the word. There's no line in the sand where suffering is acceptable, but that won't stop it from continuing to happen.]

I'm not trying to be a bastard here, but there's only so much that can be done. You've got to decide whether she's worth it.

( it's almost a whisper when she admits-- )

She is.

( because for a while now it hadn't just been about helping her quota but building her up, showing her the worth she'd been denied, strength in her situation.

except-- she did this. and that's a guilt lilith doesn't know how to handle, a feeling she doesnt feel )

There you are then.

[It isn't much of a pep talk, considering it's roughly the equivalent of suck it up, but Lilith made a choice getting involved with Agnes, and she made a choice to give her that gift, whatever it was.

These are just the consequences.]

You ought to own up to it once she's out, even if it isn't why Elias had her sent to Realignment.

I'd expected him to punish me.

( just as lucifer had. but she also realises in a way that this had punished her, hurting agnes hurt her. caring really was a weakness )

But he doesn't care.

There's nothing he can do to you, I don't think. Not without showing his hand.

[That's the whole point of Agnes, as far as Crowley can tell, to keep Jon on a short leash. Now he's just using it to hurt Lilith, as well.]

He'd need to be-- creative.

( she shares a look with him before finishing the last of her whiskey, leaning to place the glass on the table. she's danced around lucifer's cruelty before but this closer admission is a show of trust with him. lucifer has done a lot to her and elias doesn't know her to know how to hurt her )

Which he may lack. He's taken one path so far.

Not a bad path to take with the likes of us, though.

[There's an understanding in this. Crowley never drew anyone's personal ire, he was always very careful of that, but that doesn't mean he's never failed an assignment, never gotten into Hell's bad books. Pain isn't an effective punishment, once you're used to it.

Something about what she says raises a question, though.]

Is this not the first time he's sent her to Realignment?

It isn't the first time he's punished her.

( he may have stepped it up but the first time also felt unjustified )

Previously he-- implanted memories of someone's time in realignment.

( a show of what was to come )

Arsehole. [It's a low mutter but he thinks it about covers it.] Has he done anything to her without provocation?

[Not that it'd make it better, he's just trying to get the full picture here.]

Nothing that she's mentioned.

( but she also hasnt asked too much )

Though with his contract he could fabricate a reason, claim she'd broken it.

[This is the problem with this place, it's so much easier for people to be cruel. There's always power to be abused anywhere, but adding the class system and legal contracts just makes it worse.]

He could, but he's not done it. As awful as it is for her to be watched, it might be worth bearing rather than fighting him and getting her hurt again.

[Six thousand years of playing the system worked well enough for him, despite all the bad parts of it.]

And when he does begin to fabricate reasons?

( with men like elias it wasn't an if but a when. he would. they all did )

[After giving it a moment of thought, Crowley shakes his head.]

There's nothing in it for him if he starts doing that. If she's going to get hurt regardless of whether Jon — or you — stay in line, then you might as well act out, yeah? The threat loses it's effectiveness.

[He's seen enough human cruelty to know how this works.]

( she's just used to people being cruel, to being on the end of it )

He won't sit simply, do nothing. Not with the potential for his apocalypse here.

Why? S'a lot of work for an apocalypse and he's already got the one he wanted. If I were him, this would be a nice little holiday.

[Not the best place for it, but Elias is a dominant with a pretty decent power set and a cruel streak. Crowley can imagine him enjoying himself here.]

His apocalypse isn't Hell on Earth.

( not the same as theirs -- no demons, no hell )

And he has the key to it here. Why not cause another?

'Cause it takes time and a bloody lot of effort to put together an apocalypse. From what I've heard, he had plenty of time to put the first one together, had power and connections he hasn't got here. If he even wanted to, he'd be starting from scratch, I reckon. The worst he'd have to deal with back home was other Avatars, here he's got all sorts of people that'd take issue with him.

[And not all of them can be kept in check by the threat to Agnes, or even the threat to Jon and the Institute. If Elias tried to start shit, a lot of people here could simply kill him. Or worse.]

He and I are the same, right? We've both got what we wanted back home, just in the opposite directions, and this place is a detour. There's no point doing more than treating it as such, s'a waste of time and energy to do more when we're going back to what's waiting.

( she hopes that he's right because she doesn't want to deal with his apocalypse. better hope he doesn't decide that the power the archivist has been collecting is enough for him.

she's also vaguely sour about the idea of them having what they want waiting for them, particularly when she's never known that. it might seem to finally be in her future but-- how far? )

We'll hope, then. See how foolish he may end up being.

That's what I'm good at. [Hoping, he means. Although he's good at being foolish, too.] If it all goes south, we'll figure something out, but it's best to leave well enough alone for now. Be there for Agnes if we can, keep her as safe as possible, help her deal with the attention.

[Since they're both familiar with it. Not that either of them have... coped well, exactly, but they're doing their best.]

( she doesn't argue it, refilling her glass but for a moment silently sitting with it. he's given her a lot to think about and she does need to. with how much she cares for agnes can she watch? but could she lose her? and how terribly would it feel if she didn't help her against elias even in some small way? she almost prefers when things were simpler unattached-- but she'd felt so alone then, something she didn't realise how terrible it was until someone had cared for her )

(duplicity) ic contact

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