demonicmiracle | (duplicity) ic contact

Not sure there's any explanation that'd make it less weird

Sounds a bit like Saturnalia, an old Roman festival, it was always a lot of fun so I'd probably not mind yours.

Happy Feastday, then, would you like your gift now?

[Because of course he got Cullen something, and he's willing to just miracle it to wherever the man is.]

Likely not. I was content to leave it a mystery.

There's another of those odd parallels I keep stumbling across. Someone else from Earth told me of a drink called wassail. We have the drink. We just don't call it that.

Thank you. You don't have to, you know. But if you have one for me, yes. I admit I'm curious to see it.

If the basics of the world are the same, makes sense that stuff pops up. You've got apples, you've got winter, wassails just a natural step.

Look behind you. One's for you, one's for Blade, if you can't work out which is which I'm taking them back.

[Crowley isn't inclined to wrap presents, so the two boxes are just floating behind Cullen (he's a show off, sometimes), one with a fitness tracker in the form of a watch, the other in the form of a collar.]

[There's a pause in his response time while he does just that. He briefly considers switching to video with him in the collar just to be a bastard, but the little wrist contraption has arrested his attention.]

This is interesting. It really keeps track of all of this?

[He's not sure he wants his sleep tracked. That's just depressing, but the rest of it? Could be useful.]

I've been a little worried about losing condition here. Thank you. I believe this will help.

[Probably a safe bet when Crowley knows how to take screenshots and would absolutely be willing to use a photo of Cullen in a collar as blackmail.]

You think I'd buy you something that doesn't work?

You're welcome, I'd have hated for you to get soft

[As if he has any investment in Cullen's fitness. He does not, he's just being stupid.]

It's just very fancy. Fancier than this phone almost. I'll have to start figuring it out right away.

[He actually likes reading the instructions. Nerd.]

Right. Then you should come running with me sometime. All the more incentive for me to stay in condition.

[No, he doesn't think for an instant he'll take him up on that.]

I've no doubt you'll figure it out

[That's true, really. With how quickly Cullen has become acclimatized to other technology, Crowley hadn't really worried about whether he'd struggle with the tracker.]

Here's a deal, I'll come running with you if you'll do an hour of yoga with me

[Crowley doesn't do yoga, so this is mostly just a bluff, but one that'll be worth it if Cullen calls it, because he's far more flexible than any human could ever hope to be.]

You know you'll never hear the end of my VOX, resting heart rate, and step count now.

[Yes, he's essentially reading from the list. He has no idea what that first thing is or the significance of the second.]

Tell me what Yoga is first. I don't want to commit to some sort of thing the human body can't do.

I'll just tune you out, I already do that half the time

[rude]

It's a kind of exercise, involves a lot of stretching and good balance. Humans invented it, though, so it's plenty possible for humans to do

Piker.

I stretch all the time. You're on. An hour of Yoga for an hour of running.

[Well, this is about on brand for Crowley's great ideas coming back to bite him.]

Sure, alright. Sometime in the New Year, then? I'm on self-imposed house arrest until this latest bullshit passes

[He is still!! stupidly horny on main!! and he hates it!!]

Yes, that would be fine with me.

[He's not fully himself, either, and even though so far they've been lucky with what has hit them together, why tempt fate?]

Enjoy your Satinalia, Rutherford. See you next year

For Yoga and running. I shan't forget.

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