[ jesus. of course everyone around him knew. he's not upset with crowley, though; why wouldn't he assume that jon would have told martin? any normal person would have. ]
[It's the only question worth asking. Crowley can't fix anything with Elias, can't go back in time and make Jon tell Martin, but if there's something that'll help now, he's willing to do it.]
I need my boyfriend to use his brain for once, but I think that miracle's beyond even you, unfortunately. I'll be okay. Can I stay the night at your flat? I know you're probably sick of me at this point, I just don't want to be anywhere near the Institute right now. [ or jon, if he's honest with himself. ]
I'm going to step through the Lonely, so you can go ahead if you want. I'll be there in five minutes at the most. I'm just going to get a change or two of clothes and lock up.
[The good thing about magic is that he doesn't ever have to worry about tidying up; his apartment is in perfect condition as usual. He can spend that five minutes ordering the food, and then pouring a glass of wine for them both. It seems like Martin could probably use it.]
[ true to his word, it's only a few minutes afterward that he's just.. suddenly there. fog swirls through the air for a moment before it dissipates, and he sets his bag down, expression apologetic. ]
Sorry I didn't knock first. Please tell me one of those is for me.
[ his eyes are a little red, but they're dry now, at least. ]
Wasn't expecting you to knock, figured the text was my warning.
[Crowley wouldn't like Martin to just show up in the flat unannounced unless there was something actually wrong, but with a little warning, it's fine. It gives him time to say no, on the off chance he might not have wanted company.]
And nah, I thought I'd drink two glasses at once. Unless you want something a bit stronger?
Still.. [ still, he normally knocks. it's.. different from some of the others. he shows up at jon's home like this, and even thomas's, but.. well, he doesn't know how to explain it. crowley's just a bit different that way.
he drops it, though, because crowley's clearly already forgiven him, gently plucking up the glass and taking a rather long drink from it. he sets the glass back down and then offers a small, crooked smile. ]
the mention of agnes makes his frown return, and he leans against the countertop, gently nudging the glass forward for crowley to top it up again. ]
He introduced us. She's lovely, I like her so far, and.. she likes Jon. [ which in general automatically endears people to martin. if they like his boyfriend, he approves. usually.
of course, he's currently furious with jon, so. ] Elias contracted with Agnes. Jon had the chance to tell me then and didn't. [ he rubs his hands over his face. ] I-- I know I'm probably overreacting. I shouldn't be so upset. It's not really his fault, he's traumatized and trying to protect me. I just.. [ he trails off, not wanting to say it. he's just so sick of being lied to. ]
[He can take a hint; the glass is topped up and Crowley stays close by, in case Martin wants some physical affection along with everything else.]
I'd not call it overreacting. [As far as he's concerned, Jon made a bad fucking call, both in trying to keep information from Martin, and in thinking it'd ever actually be successful.] You've a right to know these things, it isn't just his life that's affected, and you're an adult, anyway. He can't make those calls for you, whether or not he thinks he's protecting you.
[It's hard not to think of Aziraphale, standing across him at the bandstand, lying about knowing where Adam was, but — that isn't what they're talking about here.]
[ he eases closer as crowley tops up his glass, taking it back and then leaning into the other man's side. the warmth and familiarity is good, and.. he likes the intimacy of being with someone he cares about when he's feeling so vulnerable. ]
I just-- I shouldn't react emotionally. He's not in a good place, and he's rightfully scared of Elias, and I-- I'm-- I have to be stronger than this.
[ he rubs the heel of his palm over his brow, but then takes another sip of his wine with a small sigh. ] God. I have to apologize. Tomorrow, maybe.
[An arm goes around Martin's shoulders, just enough to be a comforting weight without being restrictive.]
Oi, don't you dare apologize to him, you've nothing to apologize for when he's the one acting up. Doesn't bloody matter how scared he is. [Because sure, Jon's traumatized and scared and paranoid, but Martin has been through the same shit Jon has, and regardless, that's still no excuse to have withheld the truth like this.] He hurt you, yeah? How will he learn not to do it again if you don't hold your ground?
[ jon had hurt him, and it probably isn't normal for martin to just accept that it's going to happen. jon isn't his previous boyfriends. jon loves him, jon doesn't want to hurt him. and crowley's right, no matter how much martin's instinct is screaming at him that he should apologize for being upset with jon.
he probably will anyway, but.. he's hoping they'll at least talk. maybe lay down some ground rules. martin doesn't deserve being lied to, right? ]
I.. [ he's grateful for the arm over his shoulders, staring down at his blurry reflection in his glass. all his stupid freckles and his weird.. everything. ] It occurs to me that I'm-- I'm not really sure how to be in a relationship that isn't.. [ abusive? christ. ] .. bad.
[Something in Crowley's useless heart twists at the admission, and he leans in to press a kiss to Martin's hair.]
I haven't any real advice for you there, I'm sorry. [Not for the lack of advice, really, he's more sorry that Martin hasn't had anyone treat him the way he deserves to be treated.] But you're allowed to have emotions, yeah? It's alright if something hurts and you're mad about it, that's not unreasonable. You don't just have to take it. That's not what love is.
[ that's exactly what love has been for him for most of his life. he loves people, they hurt him, and he just sort of.. takes it. as a child, he hadn't had a choice. as an adult, he hadn't known anything else.
and then there's jon, who'd been mean to him, then softened, and now tries to protect him. sometimes he has no idea how to react to him, or how to talk to him, or how to be with him. of the two of them, martin is the one with more relationship experience, and all of his has been.. not good. ]
I'm-- I'm going to talk to him about it, [ he decides a little shakily. ] I just.. have to figure out how. [ he pushes his face into crowley's shoulder. ] Love is hard.
[It isn't a surprising decision, by any means. Crowley doesn't think there's a whole lot that Jon could do that would drive Martin from him completely.]
You've plenty of time to figure it out. [He doesn't say that Jon deserves to at least stew in his mistake overnight, because that'll probably just make Martin feel guilty about it.] Take it easy tonight, hm? Get a bit drunk, fall asleep in the bath, try not to think about Jon being an idiot. I'll even let you put on some awful nineties pop music, if you want. That's nostalgic for you, isn't it?
[He doesn't know how to talk about love or shitty relationships, so he's hoping that he can go this way, instead. Lighten the mood a bit to cheer Martin up.]
[ he grins at the pop comment, gently elbowing crowley and then taking another sip from his glass. ] Getting drunk sounds amazing right now. Hopefully some making out with you will be involved in there somewhere.
[ he leans up to kiss him, taking his time to do so thoroughly, then pulls back with a smile. ] Have I mentioned I love you? [ he grabs his bag with his free hand. ] I'm going to go run a bath and finish this glass.
[He hadn't been sure if there was going to be any making out, actually, since he doesn't really know whether that's the sort of thing Martin would be in the mood for, while upset with his actual boyfriend.
But clearly it's fine, since he's kissing Crowley, who's more than happy to kiss back and — grateful for it, actually, when Martin drops the L word again. He's distracted enough from the kiss that he doesn't immediately lose his hold on his wine glass. Thank someone for small mercies.
His mouth betrays him for a second, unsure what to say, before he decides to just... skip past it.]
There's, uh — I've got all those herbs and oils and things, if you want to toss something in the tub to properly marinate yourself. Poke around if you'd like, there's nothing in the bathroom you can't see.
[He doesn't like anyone, even Martin, poking around the bedroom, but that's really the main space that Crowley considers private. The only thing in the bathroom is overpriced and unnecessary skin and hair care products.]
[ he offers another quick smile, and heads toward the bathroom. he dumps his bag by the door as he shuts it lightly behind himself and starts the water. his glass goes on the side of the tub, and he does take a few minutes poking around for some nice bath oils or something. when he finds something he likes the smell of, he pours it into the nearly scalding water and then strips, sliding into the tub with a sigh.
he probably really is going to doze off in the warmth. it's been such a long day. ]
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I'm fine. Angry and upset, but what else is new?
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[It's the only question worth asking. Crowley can't fix anything with Elias, can't go back in time and make Jon tell Martin, but if there's something that'll help now, he's willing to do it.]
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I'll be okay. Can I stay the night at your flat? I know you're probably sick of me at this point, I just don't want to be anywhere near the Institute right now. [ or jon, if he's honest with himself. ]
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If I'm ever sick of you, I'd ask for space, yeah?
Come over whenever you're ready, I'll order in and you can use the tub if you want, might be an idea to do something relaxing
[God knows he could probably use it.]
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Fatty fried takeout and a long bath sound really nice. You're the best.
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[Sort of a joke, because he's not sure what else to say. He won't defend Jon's decision, even if he can guess at the reasoning.]
Let me know when you're on your way and I'll put in an order for fish and chips, I've found a place that does them alright
[Did he find it just because he thought Martin might like it? Maybe so.]
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I'm going to step through the Lonely, so you can go ahead if you want. I'll be there in five minutes at the most. I'm just going to get a change or two of clothes and lock up.
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[The good thing about magic is that he doesn't ever have to worry about tidying up; his apartment is in perfect condition as usual. He can spend that five minutes ordering the food, and then pouring a glass of wine for them both. It seems like Martin could probably use it.]
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Sorry I didn't knock first. Please tell me one of those is for me.
[ his eyes are a little red, but they're dry now, at least. ]
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[Crowley wouldn't like Martin to just show up in the flat unannounced unless there was something actually wrong, but with a little warning, it's fine. It gives him time to say no, on the off chance he might not have wanted company.]
And nah, I thought I'd drink two glasses at once. Unless you want something a bit stronger?
[Desperate times, etc.]
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he drops it, though, because crowley's clearly already forgiven him, gently plucking up the glass and taking a rather long drink from it. he sets the glass back down and then offers a small, crooked smile. ]
God, no, wine is perfect. You're perfect.
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[There's no real intensity behind the words, he's getting used to Martin just — saying nice things, but he does have to put up a token protest.]
Did he, uh, tell you about Agnes? She's Desolation, I think, can't see her as much of a threat, but she's from your world, too.
[Since apparently Jon's been withholding information, Crowley figures he should check about this, too.]
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the mention of agnes makes his frown return, and he leans against the countertop, gently nudging the glass forward for crowley to top it up again. ]
He introduced us. She's lovely, I like her so far, and.. she likes Jon. [ which in general automatically endears people to martin. if they like his boyfriend, he approves. usually.
of course, he's currently furious with jon, so. ] Elias contracted with Agnes. Jon had the chance to tell me then and didn't. [ he rubs his hands over his face. ] I-- I know I'm probably overreacting. I shouldn't be so upset. It's not really his fault, he's traumatized and trying to protect me. I just.. [ he trails off, not wanting to say it. he's just so sick of being lied to. ]
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I'd not call it overreacting. [As far as he's concerned, Jon made a bad fucking call, both in trying to keep information from Martin, and in thinking it'd ever actually be successful.] You've a right to know these things, it isn't just his life that's affected, and you're an adult, anyway. He can't make those calls for you, whether or not he thinks he's protecting you.
[It's hard not to think of Aziraphale, standing across him at the bandstand, lying about knowing where Adam was, but — that isn't what they're talking about here.]
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I just-- I shouldn't react emotionally. He's not in a good place, and he's rightfully scared of Elias, and I-- I'm-- I have to be stronger than this.
[ he rubs the heel of his palm over his brow, but then takes another sip of his wine with a small sigh. ] God. I have to apologize. Tomorrow, maybe.
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Oi, don't you dare apologize to him, you've nothing to apologize for when he's the one acting up. Doesn't bloody matter how scared he is. [Because sure, Jon's traumatized and scared and paranoid, but Martin has been through the same shit Jon has, and regardless, that's still no excuse to have withheld the truth like this.] He hurt you, yeah? How will he learn not to do it again if you don't hold your ground?
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he probably will anyway, but.. he's hoping they'll at least talk. maybe lay down some ground rules. martin doesn't deserve being lied to, right? ]
I.. [ he's grateful for the arm over his shoulders, staring down at his blurry reflection in his glass. all his stupid freckles and his weird.. everything. ] It occurs to me that I'm-- I'm not really sure how to be in a relationship that isn't.. [ abusive? christ. ] .. bad.
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I haven't any real advice for you there, I'm sorry. [Not for the lack of advice, really, he's more sorry that Martin hasn't had anyone treat him the way he deserves to be treated.] But you're allowed to have emotions, yeah? It's alright if something hurts and you're mad about it, that's not unreasonable. You don't just have to take it. That's not what love is.
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and then there's jon, who'd been mean to him, then softened, and now tries to protect him. sometimes he has no idea how to react to him, or how to talk to him, or how to be with him. of the two of them, martin is the one with more relationship experience, and all of his has been.. not good. ]
I'm-- I'm going to talk to him about it, [ he decides a little shakily. ] I just.. have to figure out how. [ he pushes his face into crowley's shoulder. ] Love is hard.
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You've plenty of time to figure it out. [He doesn't say that Jon deserves to at least stew in his mistake overnight, because that'll probably just make Martin feel guilty about it.] Take it easy tonight, hm? Get a bit drunk, fall asleep in the bath, try not to think about Jon being an idiot. I'll even let you put on some awful nineties pop music, if you want. That's nostalgic for you, isn't it?
[He doesn't know how to talk about love or shitty relationships, so he's hoping that he can go this way, instead. Lighten the mood a bit to cheer Martin up.]
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[ he leans up to kiss him, taking his time to do so thoroughly, then pulls back with a smile. ] Have I mentioned I love you? [ he grabs his bag with his free hand. ] I'm going to go run a bath and finish this glass.
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[He hadn't been sure if there was going to be any making out, actually, since he doesn't really know whether that's the sort of thing Martin would be in the mood for, while upset with his actual boyfriend.
But clearly it's fine, since he's kissing Crowley, who's more than happy to kiss back and — grateful for it, actually, when Martin drops the L word again. He's distracted enough from the kiss that he doesn't immediately lose his hold on his wine glass. Thank someone for small mercies.
His mouth betrays him for a second, unsure what to say, before he decides to just... skip past it.]
There's, uh — I've got all those herbs and oils and things, if you want to toss something in the tub to properly marinate yourself. Poke around if you'd like, there's nothing in the bathroom you can't see.
[He doesn't like anyone, even Martin, poking around the bedroom, but that's really the main space that Crowley considers private. The only thing in the bathroom is overpriced and unnecessary skin and hair care products.]
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[ he offers another quick smile, and heads toward the bathroom. he dumps his bag by the door as he shuts it lightly behind himself and starts the water. his glass goes on the side of the tub, and he does take a few minutes poking around for some nice bath oils or something. when he finds something he likes the smell of, he pours it into the nearly scalding water and then strips, sliding into the tub with a sigh.
he probably really is going to doze off in the warmth. it's been such a long day. ]