demonicmiracle | (duplicity) ic contact

[ Why is it that all the interesting people don't care that much about sex? Is he cursed? Dorian thinks he might be cursed. ]

Jon can give you a glowing recommendation if you want a reference. We won't end up in Realignment.

Pity about the sex, though. You don't know what you're missing.

[If they cared about sex they'd have fucked him already and he wouldn't be interested anymore.]

If only I trusted a single thing out of Jon's mouth

Do you really think you're all that interesting?

I know I'm all that interesting.

[The problem here is that his inclination to not share anything about himself (and Aziraphale, in turn) is at war with wanting to convince Dorian there's really nothing that can compare to what he's already got going on.]

Well, I'm afraid I'll have to continue missing out. Barring the city getting in the way again, but you'd be best off hoping that doesn't happen

The city always gets in the way. I'll make you mine sooner or later.

[yikes!]

Let's not get too possessive, yeah? You'll make it weird

Why do people keep calling me possessive? You're the second person in a short time that said something like that.

[ says the man who can get way too possessive. ]

[Wow it's almost like there's a common thread here.]

You just said you'd make me yours. That's a bit possessive

It really isn't.

[ Yes it is. ]

Honestly, I think you're overreacting.

Right, well, for the record and on the off chance it wasn't obvious, I already very much belong to someone

I got that message loud and clear when Zed tried to cockblock me.

[ when Aziraphale succeeded in cockblocking him, you mean. ]

The two of you can't be monogamous, though.

Not sure I'd use the word "tried" when it was very successful cockblock

Why couldn't we be?

1. The idea of a demon being monogamous is a little unbelievable.
2. I think the city itself has something against monogamy. Being dosed with aphrodisiacs, expected to sleep around, put in very compromising positions on the whims of our overlords. You almost fucked me. I doubt it's the first time that's happened to you.

What, I'm a demon so I just have to sleeping around a lot?

[How rude. Why do so many people have this stereotype. They've clearly never seen Hastur.]

What happens with the city hardly counts. We can't control that, it isn't like choosing to be with someone else

[It used to be slightly more complicated than that, but with Martin gone, it doesn't really matter anymore. Crowley has no interest in sleeping with anyone else, and he doubts Aziraphale does either.]

Isn't sleeping around part of the job description?

[ just accept the fact that Milton gave all demons/fallen angels/whatever a glow-up, accept your lot in life, Crowley. ]

Glad to see that the two of you have figured that out. Jury's still out on how long it will last.

I think I'm the only demon in my world that's ever had sex

[Which is honestly for the best. Again: Hastur.]

Most people here seem pretty wise to it, I'd have had a lot more

[He decides not to touch on the latter part of that, it seems safer to leave it.]

The rest of the demons in your world know they're missing out, right?

[ Because sex! Sex rocks! ]

Who are they going to have sex with? Humans? Each other? That has no appeal to them

All I'm saying is that humanity is perpetually horny and makes bad decisions when they're horny. It seems like the perfect solution to gain souls or what have you!

They'd rather just tempt them to lust with other humans

Humans are a completely different species than we are. It's easy for a lot of demons to see you like children, or worse, like livestock. Not the sort of thing you fuck.

[It should be fairly clear he doesn't fall into that category. He's spent so long around humans.]

[ Considering Crowley tried to jump his bones, Dorian's pretty sure he's not in that category. ]

That's disappointing. I'd love to actually fuck a demon one of these days.