demonicmiracle | (noctium) ic inbox

[ At least Crowley gets it; she had said as much to Elidibus and he didn't quite comprehend it as Crowley did. More importantly, she can ignore his comment on manna.

No, she's not generating that platonically, but that's beside the point. ]

I know.

[ By now, Gwenhwyfar isn't as terrified of him as she once was. He is the closest thing to one of her own kind, part of the origins of what once roamed the earth as Watchers. ]

I'll do whatever I can to handle it. I gave up on regenerating my eye to stop myself from losing control. Nothing will hurt, I'm sure, not as much as that did.

[He'll take I know as the best answer he'll get and leave it there. Duplicity might have made it easy to have casual discussions about sex, by nature of how often it happened, but he knows not everyone's comfort level is the same.]

Right, well, I've got most of the magic tucked into a ring, but we'll have to... attune it to you, is the best description. Figure that way if you need your powers for any reason, y'can take the ring off.

[It's likely he could attempt to completely strip her of her powers, but he's worried about her being able to protect herself.]

[ It would be hard to imagine life without any of those abilities. Since the say she was born, she's had them. And if there is truly anything that could be said about Gwenhwyfar, drastic change makes her panic.

But at the moment, she can't think of anything useful, save for the basics. ]

And what about my senses?

[ She's an anxious person, she likes knowing when people are coming. ]

They'll likely be somewhat dulled. Not as useless as a human's, but I imagine it'll take some adjustment.

[This is why it's important that it's her choice, and not something that's done to her permanently. It would be cruel, to completely take that from her.]

[ She pauses to think about it. As silly as it is, she liked that aspect of her being. To feel, taste, hear, see, and smell things so differently that they were far more vibrant in the world than what a human could possibly imagine. ]

Mm.

[ Damn it, Geralt, it's becoming a habit. ]

Admittedly, I am not too pleased with the idea of them being dulled. It always gave me the upper hand when I fled my captors.

[ The fact she could smell and hear them before she saw them? It was always a plus. And even her senses weren't as intent as others, they were still stronger than humans. ]

I suppose I can try it -- I don't have much of a choice, do I?

[It's almost a shame this isn't Duplicity, that he couldn't take her to the Repair Shop and make a trade to lessen her hunger.]

Not much of a choice, no, but it's still a choice. I'll keep trying to refine it, see if I can't let you keep more of your senses, but this is what it is for now. It's your choice.

[He won't nudge her one way or another, in part because he couldn't say what's the better choice. He's used to dealing with the occasional unpleasant urge, and he wouldn't give up his senses for anything, though it's slightly different for him than it is for her.]

[ She would still argue that she has not much of a choice -- eventually, she will lose control. It's not as if the people she cares for have a choice, either. With that, Gwenhwyfar concedes, giving a small nod.

Almost like a reprimanded child. ]

Do you promise? I can wear it for now, in the meantime. I hope it doesn't sound silly or too trivial.

[A smart call not to argue on the topic of choices with the creature who had his entire identity ripped out of him for a choice he didn't even realize he was making.]

Doesn't sound silly at all, and I promise I'll keep working on it.

[He sets down his empty coffee mug, and gestures towards the spare bedroom, although it's currently lacking a bed, since Crowley started using the space for his work.

Instead, there's a series of occult symbols drawn on the floor in a circle, with a plain platinum ring waiting in the center.]

You ready?

Edited 2021-06-04 01:46 (UTC)

[ Gwenhwyfar can't help but look down at the symbols at her (bare) feet. It can't be helped, takes a mental note of them, wondering if they're at all, similar to the dark magic Myrddin had spoken of. A magic that came from the far east and said to come from a king that enslaved 42 demons at his temple.

She doesn't want to linger too long, knowing Crowley has his husband. ]

Not really, but... I'll do it, anyway.

[With a thought, Crowley cleans and repairs Gwenhwyfar's damaged and bloodied clothes, assuming she might be more comfortable that way.]

Sit in the center and pop the ring on whatever finger you'd like. It'll fit.

[That's the advantage of something with magic and expectation woven into it, there's no need to worry about sizing.]

I'm going to change, s'easier this way. Don't panic.

[Shifting is a simple process, he just melds into the shape of the serpent, dropping down to the floor. He's large enough to circle the room twice, outside the chalk, resting his head on his own body and watching Gwenhwyfar with an unblinking gaze.

He'll give her a second to adjust, before doing more.]

[ Snakes don't frighten her whatsoever. As a matter of fact, she was the few girls that would be catching them with boys as a little girl.

But knowing demons- no, Watchers possessed forms beyond that of a mortal's understanding lurking in the back of her mind seems to fit Crowley's transformation.

A humanoid form she could handle, it made her feel more at ease compared to the stories laid into her by Myrddin. The one mental image she had in her head was that of Watchers descending from the heavens as a mass of large eyes in some accounts had a little Gwenhwyfar bolting out of her bed and into Myrddin's from the nightmare.

It's an old fear that's conveniently brought back from memory and that, of course, instantly makes Gwenhwyfar start to panic.

After he said "don't panic" and when Gwenhwyfar starts to become anxious, it puts her more at risk. For a brief moment, she wonders if she's making the right choice. ]

Is that necessary?

[Her fear is immediately apparent, he doesn't even need to flick his tongue out to taste it thick in the air, and while he does want to reassure her, there isn't all that much he can do about it.]

Kind of, yeah. I'll need to have my full focus, don't want to get distracted keeping myself human.

[If she's reacting badly to the serpent, he can't imagine she'd enjoy seeing more of his true form peek through, which it's likely to do in this situation.]

M'not venomous, if that helps.

[Not right now, at least, but she doesn't need to know that.]

I don't fear snakes.

[ It's just an old childhood fear that decided to creep back up in her mind. And because of that, Gwenhwyfar takes it a step further and puts her hands on her face to cover her eyes.

Even if she has one eye. ]

I would catch adders when I was a little girl, so it is most definitely not that.

[Ah, he thinks he gets it.]

It's that I'm a demon, isn't it?

[It's easy to pretend that he's just a human who can do clever tricks, when he's shaped like one, but changing like this is a stark reminder of what he actually is, underneath the skin.

If a snake could sigh, he would, but he knows that this isn't going to work if she's terrified.]

Alright.

[He seems to melt back into his human shape, sitting on the floor at the edge of the circle, his wings emerging from between his shoulder blades, fanning out until the tips of them hit the walls.

He tips his head to the side, eyebrows raised in a silent is that better?]

Sorry.

[ She must sound childish, doesn't she? Ever self-conscious, Gwenhwyfar finally works up the courage to draw a hand from her face when the atmosphere changes and she's seeing glimpses of his wings.

This, on the other hand, isn't as frightening as the idea of Crowley manifesting into something beyond her mind, something so unfathomable as Myrddin had put it.

She shuffles a bit, her gaze down at her bare feet. (no, she can't be bothered to wear shoes, at all!) ]

I just... All I can think of is what my teacher used to say when I was little.

[ And that she's positive he would be furious with her for even doing any of this. ]

It gave me a lot of nightmares as a little girl.

[Crowley waves a hand to dismiss the apology; it's slightly frustrating, but taking that out on her isn't going to solve anything.]

Don't worry, you've not bruised my ego too badly, I already knew I wasn't especially pretty.

[The words are said lightly, with a wry grin, trying to diffuse the tension that's sunken into Gwenhwyfar, since that also won't help.]

Are the wings fine?

[She's seen them before without freaking out, so he figures it's probably okay, but it's usually safer to check with these things.]

[ She's about to apologize for apologizing, an old habit nearly coming back to life. It's Crowley's hand that stops her, settling Gwenhwyfar's nerves for now. She knows that her fear and anxiety will just make things worse and takes a moment to settle herself.

She nods softly. And once more affirming before she speaks, finally, now that she's able to catch her breath. ]

They don't bother me.

Alright, good. If I get a bit scale-y, try not to panic.

[He might be able to mostly keep it contained under his clothes if it comes to it, though hopefully all this preparation is just him being overcautious.]

Are we ready now?

[There's a hint of frustration in his voice, despite best efforts to keep it out. He's learned a lot more patience, during his time in Duplicity, but it only extends so far. He's just trying to remind himself that Gwenhwyfar is a child, even if she has a lot on her shoulders.]

[ Telling Gwenhwyfar not to panic may cause the opposite. But it's the hint of frustration that Gwenhwyfar notices and that may even cause her to overthink it. Despite hardening after everything she's been through and becoming a shadow of her old self, upsetting him upsets her.

And while Gwenhwyfar would like to be seen far from a child, she regresses to childish mannerisms of her old self, turning her gaze downward and to her hands, holding them close to her body, just as she would many, many times before ]

Sorry.

[ She felt awful for delaying him, shrinking into a timid display/ ]

I'm ready.

[Crowley makes a soft noise of acknowledgement, deciding not to get into a discussion about whether an apology is necessary. She reminds him so much of Agnes, sometimes, that it's difficult to swallow all the emotions tangled up in that, but he's nothing if not good at compartmentalizing.]

Get comfortable and pick a finger to wear the ring on, I'll get us started.

[He holds out his hands in front of him, cupped together as he summons a tiny bit of flame into his palms. It isn't quite Hellfire, what he's making, but he does murmur curses over the flame in a language that existed before time, imbuing it with before, before he opens his hands and sends sparks along the edge of the circle.

The flames aren't intense, resting on points across the circle like candles, without the need for wax or wicks. Once they're burning steadily, he looks back at Gwenhwyfar.]

Right, now, this shouldn't hurt, but it'll feel a bit odd, I imagine.

[As a warning, while he watches her to make sure she's handling it alright so far.]

Comfortable... right.

[ She could absolutely tell Crowley that Nephilims like her live in constant pain -- a dull pain that aches in their joints and the hunger that they possess is unbearable. She decides against it, keeping to herself and reminding herself while it might feel odd and she will feel absolutely vulnerable, Gwenhwyfar keeps thinking of her home, obligations, and, most of all, Arthur.

She couldn't be selfish or greedy, not as a queen. She was supposed to think of her king and her people, all of that mattered more than her extreme dislike of change. And as much as she would like to see the ritual, it still seems like she's betraying the only father figure she's known, the man that raised her and who would berate her for this.

She flinches as soon as she hears his voice, looking back to him, contemplating where to put it properly. ]

Uh, there is a certain finger to wear it, right? I can't wear it where my marriage ring is supposed to go.

[ She tries to remember, knowing that placing a ring on the wrong finger and returning home is disastrous. After a moment of wracking her brain, trying to remember, she chooses her right hand, her non-dominant, choosing her index finger, slipping it on without much thought so that she could internalize over appearing disloyal to her betrothed, later.

But it hits her, or rather, her body feels... off. Heavier. Her cheeks feel rosy, even holding a small hint of color as if it was Gwenhwyfar had mead. It's odd, and no surprise, Gwenhwyfar is not too thrilled about it. Everything feels dull and the colors around the room even look duller. Gone are the pleasant smells of her previous meal, and left with something bland.

It would take time to adjust to. ]

I feel like a rock in the bottom of a lake. [ That's the best way to describe it, as she sticks a foot out and shakes it. ]

[For all that Crowley has lived through all of human history, it doesn't necessarily mean that he's picked up on all the details, especially things that have changed over time. When she asks about marriage rings, he holds up his left hand to show the plain band that's around his ring finger, but he's not entirely sure it was always that finger, so he can't tell her for certain which one she shouldn't wear it on.

He'll let her choose, nodding when she settles on the right hand and letting out a relieved sigh when he feels the magic sinks in, washing over her, centered on the ring. It works, which is a relief, and she doesn't seem in any distress.]

That'll be it dulling your sense, gimme a sec.

[There's heavy magic in the circle, in the fires, in the ring, in Crowley. He pricks his finger on the edge of a fang, letting the blood well up so he can add another symbol to the edge of the circle, using it as a focus while he works on adjusting the curses woven into the ring.

Because that's what it essentially is, a curse laid into a ring, to drain her power. He manages to lessen the strength of it, just a tiny bit, to hopefully give her back more of her senses.]

How's that feel, now?

[ Gwenhwyfar gives a relieved sigh knowing that she's chosen the right finger to slip on a ring. And here she thought only women were the ones to wear rings -- at least, so far she's seen in her world.

As she flexes her hands, it's hard to tell at first. There have only been so many times she's dared to channel that part of her blood for obvious reasons. She knows that she doesn't know how to do it properly and is content with that.

Up until the point she's realized suppressing it has done more harm than good. But marriage rings and Myrddin aside, Gwenhwyfar closes her eye, digging deep in that part of her to test it. It's what she thinks is a pinch all the while her senses flood back to her. The most important ones of all: scent and hearing. ]

That's better. [ Little by little, she is relieved, bouncing on the balls of her bare feet. It will always be her insistence that she's mature enough to handle the weight of a queen's crown, but in this moment, she's almost child-like in her fears and worries. A better test, perhaps, is always Gwenhywfar's need to show her affection. She soon steps outside of the circle, encircling her arms around him to give him a hug. with a soft "thank you". ]

[Mostly, he's relieved that it works. While this place might not be on the same scale as Duplicity, it can still be dangerous, and leaving Gwenhwyfar without the full breadth of her senses would've worried him, a little.

He's also surprised at the hug, which really goes to show he hasn't been paying attention to how affectionate she can be, mostly because he tends to get in his own head about those sorts of things, assuming that people aren't going to be inclined to touch him. Especially not when Gwenhwyfar was terrified of him, a few moments ago.

Still, he wraps his arms around her in turn, gives her a gentle squeeze.]

Don't go telling anyone, hm? I don't want people knocking on my door thinking I'll help 'em with whatever nonsense they've got going on.

[He'll help her, obviously. But he's selective about the effort he puts into things.]

[ She can safely say, for once, she can hug someone without having to worry about crushing their rib cage.

And it feels wonderful... normal. Something that she's longed for, even as a small child, wanting to hug her mother and accidentally hurting her. ]

Of course not. You would be surprised many Nephilim share a common code. We do no harm to each other, we look out for one another, and we keep secrets. Half-blood or not, I would consider you to be a part of that.

[ Even better: Crowley isn't one of the insane ones who would break that code. ]

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