Was a bit more concerned about not letting the world get destroyed in a war between the forces of Heaven and Hell. And not getting myself destroyed in the process.
[In his defense, he did only have the book for a handful of hours before he gave it back to Anathema.]
Had to get through the M25 after I sort of accidentally turned it into a burning ring of fire. [You know, as you do.] Didn't really have time to stop and put it out, so I just kept the car together for the drive.
[In case it was ever a mystery exactly how many brain cells Crowley has: the answer is one.]
[This is, in fact, the first time Crowley has been asked this question, because usually people don't actually get to hear much about his powers. The only one is Aziraphale, who operates in the same way.
He considers it for a second, then shrugs.]
I, uh, well. [Hm!] I'm a demon, aren't I? Logic's for humans, really. I've always sort of just done whatever.
You're patently ridiculous. Plants that are afraid of you, wings that appear and disappear, sunglasses inside or in the middle of the night, driving burning cars down the M25. Honestly. [Jon tuts and shakes his head before he turns a page and starts reading again.]
And people think I'm odd. [That's muttered with a scoff.]
Well. I'd be interested in reviewing your book in its entirety, but in the spirit of not spending several hours invading your flat, maybe I could look at more of it later. If you'd like to bring it to the Institute?
[There's care in the way Crowley takes the book back; it's not inclined to fall apart while he has ownership, but it's still an old, slightly singed book.]
Seems like it's your sort of thing, 'cept without it being something that'll kill a bunch of people.
Yes, well. I hope you enjoy your gifts. Seeing as I've been caught, I'll be... rethinking my strategy on them. I-I didn't mean to frighten you. Or unsettle you. Sorry.
[He has to put that out there. It's true, he was a bit concerned, a little weirded out, but not frightened, and even if he was, he'd discorporate before he let anyone think that.]
Just leave a proper note if you ever go around giving gifts to people. Wouldn't hurt to put a reason, either.
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[What is Jesus up to these days? Crowley should ask Aziraphale.]
In all honesty, I'm not even sure God does have that much precise knowledge.
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Could have done, I dunno. Sometimes these things just happen, the world's full of mystery and wonder.
[He's the worst.]
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[The absolute worst! Jon is looking mildly aghast.]
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[In his defense, he did only have the book for a handful of hours before he gave it back to Anathema.]
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Hmph!
[He falls quiet again, going back to reading.]
Have any of her prophecies been wrong that you know of?
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Could have been, but everything I could make sense of checked out. She even knew the Bentley would be on fire when I drove to Tadfield.
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Why was your car on fire? Why were you driving your car while it was on fire?
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[In case it was ever a mystery exactly how many brain cells Crowley has: the answer is one.]
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[He shouldn't be so skeptical considering things he's seen, but honestly.]
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He considers it for a second, then shrugs.]
I, uh, well. [Hm!] I'm a demon, aren't I? Logic's for humans, really. I've always sort of just done whatever.
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You're patently ridiculous. Plants that are afraid of you, wings that appear and disappear, sunglasses inside or in the middle of the night, driving burning cars down the M25. Honestly. [Jon tuts and shakes his head before he turns a page and starts reading again.]
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Again, demon. That's not even scratching the surface of the things that're weird about me.
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Well. I'd be interested in reviewing your book in its entirety, but in the spirit of not spending several hours invading your flat, maybe I could look at more of it later. If you'd like to bring it to the Institute?
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[It's not like he's wrong.]
Sure, if you don't mind my hanging about while you read it.
[He's not leaving it alone, even in the Institute.]
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Fine.
[The Archivist rises and offers the book back to Crowley, holding it carefully with both hands.]
Thank you for letting me see it.
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Seems like it's your sort of thing, 'cept without it being something that'll kill a bunch of people.
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Yes, well. I hope you enjoy your gifts. Seeing as I've been caught, I'll be... rethinking my strategy on them. I-I didn't mean to frighten you. Or unsettle you. Sorry.
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[He has to put that out there. It's true, he was a bit concerned, a little weirded out, but not frightened, and even if he was, he'd discorporate before he let anyone think that.]
Just leave a proper note if you ever go around giving gifts to people. Wouldn't hurt to put a reason, either.
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And louder once more:] I'll just print things out. Good afternoon, Crowley.
[Jon will see himself to the door.]
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But he won't argue the point.]
Ciao!