[He lifts a hand in what do I know sort of gesture, because he's clearly never paid attention to the soup menus at restaurants and is just talking shit.]

The point was that you shouldn't pity feed the seagulls. Not a bad idea though, spiking the tea. [It's a miracle that he manages to get to his feet without spilling his tea, considering he makes no effort to actually try not spilling it.

He's off to the kitchen in search of something to put in his tea.]

S'probably horny mermaids. Something like that.