[He knows what it feels like to constantly be holding back, and he doesn't want Aziraphale to have to deal with that more than necessary. Neither of them can truly let go, but the constant worry about overstepping or hurting him is more stress than he needs.
Crowley rubs his thumb over the back of Aziraphale's hand, bracing himself for what's coming and glad that he did. There's no hiding the sharp little inhale, but he doesn't react aside from that, forcing himself to stay calm.
The idea of hurting him like that makes him want to recoil, to pull away as if somehow even touching him might risk it, but he... understands the rationale. He exhales slowly, letting out his fear with it.]
I get it, why you're asking. Offering. Thing is I don't know if I could do it, in the most literal meaning of the word. [Not that he isn't emotionally capable, but that he doesn't know how to physically make it happen.] I was divine, once, you've never been infernal. Not sure how I'd manage it without actually hurting you.
[It does give him an idea of something he could do, but he might sit on that for a little while.]
no subject
[He knows what it feels like to constantly be holding back, and he doesn't want Aziraphale to have to deal with that more than necessary. Neither of them can truly let go, but the constant worry about overstepping or hurting him is more stress than he needs.
Crowley rubs his thumb over the back of Aziraphale's hand, bracing himself for what's coming and glad that he did. There's no hiding the sharp little inhale, but he doesn't react aside from that, forcing himself to stay calm.
The idea of hurting him like that makes him want to recoil, to pull away as if somehow even touching him might risk it, but he... understands the rationale. He exhales slowly, letting out his fear with it.]
I get it, why you're asking. Offering. Thing is I don't know if I could do it, in the most literal meaning of the word. [Not that he isn't emotionally capable, but that he doesn't know how to physically make it happen.] I was divine, once, you've never been infernal. Not sure how I'd manage it without actually hurting you.
[It does give him an idea of something he could do, but he might sit on that for a little while.]